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3 Effective Ways to Say No


Friday, September 07, 2012

Are you a "yes" person? Do you try to do every request made of you to make others feel better?

Do you think that saying "yes" all the time is beneficial always?

Do you feel that you're abusing yourself just to please other people?

My friend, there is a way to stop all of these: Start saying "no" to others. 

3 Effective Ways to Say No
Don't be a wet rag. 
Most of the time, we just can't find it in ourselves to say "No" to people because of the following reasons:


  • We want to seem agreeable: Yes, I get it, you want people to like you - you just can't think of yourself being disliked by those people asking a commitment from you. But seriously, you are not rude when you say no. This just means that you love yourself enough for you to know what your priorities are. 
  • You have this indescribable need to help everyone: Let's face it: we are not superheroes, as much as we want to be one. We need to sleep, eat and spend time with the people who matter to us. Just think of it this way, how can you possibly help someone else if you can't even help take care of yourself? 
  • We dislike the idea of losing an opportunity: My friend, an opportunity is only an opportunity if you find it within yourself to make time for it. If you really want something so bad, you will, by all means, make an effort to commit to it. If you can't really commit to it, then it isn't an opportunity at all - it's just a waste of time.
Now that everything is laid out in the open, let us identify top three scenarios that you feel require you to say yes even though you really want to be able to say no.

1.Your boss is asking you to do another project right now when you are still in the middle of an important project. You really really want to impress your boss but you can't be distracted since the project you're already working on is extremely relevant. 

Don't say: Sure, boss, I'll get right to it!
SAY: As of the moment, I can't commit to this right now since I'm still working on the X project, which is a priority for the company because it's urgent. Why don't you give me a week to finish this one first?
    2. Your long-lost childhood best friend is asking you out for coffee when you're experiencing a busy schedule. You really value this person so much but you can't afford the time right now.

    Don't say: Sure, let's meet up for coffee!
    Say: Hi, X! I'm stuck in an important project right now but I'd love to chat with you with coffee at, say, X time?

    3. A sales agent is asking you for a meeting, an acquaintance is asking you to meet with him and a group of friends to chill, a friend is asking you for a favor when you just can't do it since your priorities are different right now.

    Don't say: Awesome, sure, I'll do it!
    Say: I'd really love to this but I already have a prior commitment to attend to so I can't.

    Effective, don't you think so? 

    Do you say no to people? 



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